Submission #1
I received your newsletter which offered the chance to win the walk-on role of the "rude waiter" in your new play "This is How it Goes". Immediately, I thought to myself, "This would be a great opportunity for someone sarcastic... someone that has a mean or catty comment ready at all times... someone that's a real bitch." Then I realized, "That's me!"
You may wonder what experience I have. Though most of the city has tried to push it from their minds, I have performed for Ovation before... way back in the day in "Avow". That experience was the highlight of my first year in Cincinnati. (Actually, I think the best part was when Jackie Demaline called me "stiff".) As for experience being rude, I would just direct you toward the huddled masses of crying men I have left in my wake. (Okay, so there's not a huddled mass of people, but I have made a few of them cry.)
So, in the end, what I really want to say is I respect whatever decision you make, but what I'm really thinking is "Pick me! Pick me!". However it comes out, I will be in the audience for the show. (I take any opportunity I can to see Michael Monks play straight.)
Thanks,
Steve Martin